Gotta Love Laffy Taffy Humor! (And Sarcastic Blog Titles.)

I LOVE LAFFY TAFFY.  Seriously, it's #1 on the list of my favorite foods.  But there is one thing about it that I would like to complain about, and that would be the jokes.  Who doesn't love jokes?  That's the only reason why kids eat laffy taffy and popsicles uncontrollably; to hear the jokes.  But it's almost as if laffy taffy jokes aren't even worth reading.  Most of the time when I read one to a bunch of people, nobody laughs. 

I'm not trying to crush the dreams of a little 8 year old who submits their jokes to laffy taffy by telling them that they are terribly uncreative.  I'm just trying to say that they have a long way to go before they can be a comedian.  Maybe they can publish their own joke book instead, since obviously that doesn't take much these days. 

I would like to share some of these jokes with you, and maybe you will see things the way I do. 

1) How can you tell if there's a hippo in your oven?  The oven door won't close.

2)What time was it when the elephant sat on the chair?  Time to get a new chair. 

3) Why did they bury the battery?  Because it was dead.

4) Why won't lobsters share?  Because they are shellfish.

5) Why did the ghost float across the road?  Because he couldn't walk. 

Usually my first thought when I read some of these is, "....What? How is this funny?  Why is this even considered a joke?"  I honestly don't understand.  Maybe no one else even cares about laffy taffy jokes.  After all, you buy laffy taffy to eat it, not to get a laugh out of it.  Even if you did buy laffy taffy to get a laugh out of it, you'd be completely wasting your money.  But  it's always nice to eat good candy AND read a good joke.  And right now, all we're gettin is the good candy. 
   

I Wish I Had a Time Machine....

On the way home from soccer, someone on the bus started singing, "I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas!" (I am going to take this time and point out that I did NOT get a good seat on the bus, because Mr. Dykstra wouldn't let me leave 5 minutes early from class.)  It reminded me of my childhood, so that is what I decided to blog about.  More specifically, I'll be blogging about games I played in school as a child.

#1-Simon Says.
Let me start off by saying that I was not very good at this game.  Let's say for example the leader said, "Hop on one foot."  I was a little kid who had a ton of energy; how am I supposed to resist the urge to hop on one foot?!  I'm curious as to who Simon is, and why the game is called Simon Says.  I don't think I knew anyone named Simon back in the day, but if I had, I wonder if I would've done anything he told me to do.

#2-Red Light Green Light.
So like I said about Simon Says, I'm a kid with energy, and they expect me to just be able to freeze in place after running full speed.  I mean, come on.  I always got lucky though; sometimes the leader person wouldn't see me still moving.  But needless to say, I wasn't the best at that game either.

#3-Dirty Backyard.
I don't know if any of you have heard of this, but we used to play it at Hoover all the time.  It was my favorite!  Although when I look back on it I don't really know why.  Basically all we did was throw random crap in the air over a "fence." (Which was really just mats standing up.)  But hey, isn't that what kids like doing these days? 

I could go on and on about childhood games, but then I'd feel like an overachiever.  I loved elementarty school; those were the good days.  Not saying that these days aren't good, but you know what I mean.  Now if only I had a time machine...